Someone’s at the wrong end of the line

I came upon this nest of swallows inside the large earth lodge at Fort Lincoln this weekend and had to take some photos of the little guys getting lunch. My favorite part about this shot is the look on the face of the birds on the right. The second one in is looking at the camera with what appears to be a frank look of exasperation. Of course, I’m not about to anthropomorphize the little critters, but sometimes their expressions match humans perfectly.

Don’t feel too bad for the little guys on the right; they actually got fed first (I have photos of that too).

Parted down the middle

What do you do when those cute little saplings you planted in the 80s start encroaching on overhead power and/or phone lines? Well, sadly, you’ve gotta cut ’em. As you can see, that can get a little awkward.

I got a chuckle when I noticed this line of trees on South 12th Street a while back. I’ve seen the same sort of phenomenon along Divide Avenue as well, and I’m sure it’s not an isolated situation.

If trees are becoming a hazard near power lines on or near your property, you can fill out an online request on MDU’s website and request that they come and trim the trees back to a safe distance. As the pictures above indicate, sometimes the result of all that safety is a sight that would make Edward Scissorhands proud.

A special calendar…just for me?

I really appreciate when local print shops do certain things such as in 2011, when Image Printing made those posters with the American flag on them and distributed them around town. One other thing they do, and this is a good business tool as well, is distribute free office calendars as a promotional item. They’re very handy, high quality, and should be appreciated as a valuable gift.

I was taking down my calendar from last year (although I discovered it had 2012 on the back) to replace it with a new one, when I spotted something interesting: at the bottom of 2011 it also had smaller boxes containing Janaury and February 2012, for those of us who don’t change our calendars on time! Wait, what? Janaury?

Yes, mine had January misspelled on it. I checked the back to see if the same quirk existed on the 2012 side (with little January and February 2013’s on it), and it did! As a proofreader I found that noteworthy, so I checked other calendars in the building which hadn’t yet been replaced. As it turns out, I’ve got the only one with the error. Hmmmmm…that’s odd.

In addition to the giant poster-sized calendar, I also had an 8.5×11 version. That had the misspelling of January as well…yet I couldn’t find another calendar with the same typo anywhere! Weird.

I’m one of those people who could look at a printed page and have any typo errors leap off the page at me almost instantly, as if I was looking at one of those 3D computer-generated posters. As a result, I find it appropriate that I seem to have the one calendar with this particular feature.

Before any conspiracy theories abound, I’d like to point out that this calendar was hung three months before I moved into the office where it was hanging. I don’t believe in fate, but if I did I would surmise that perhaps this calendar and I were meant to find each other!

Whoa… I actually found something bacon CAN’T do

It can’t make me eat crickets. I stopped at Roberts Floral on 8th Street tonight to pick up some flowers for my lovely wife – she earned ’em – and these flavor-coated little beasties were in a display next to the cash register. Yikes. Bonus: the young lady preparing my flowers said that they crunch like sunflower seeds!

There are other flavors, too. The only one that put me into a momentary moral crisis, of course, were the bacon and cheese variety. Not for long. So what if a female florist is more manly than I am when it comes to trying these things?

Must have been some party

Poking around south of town I spotted this old machine rolled over at the top of a hill. I’m sure it caught a nasty wind and ended up on its side, but the fact that it was in a field full of cattle tickled my sense of humor a little. I mean…after all, does anyone REALLY know what cows do when we’re not watching?

Welcome to Bismarck. Restrictions in effect. Only one catch: you may have to guess what they are

It’s that time of year again: the ubiquitous “Restrictions in Effect” signs are popping up around the periphery of Bismarck. Restrictions of what nature, you ask? If your only source of information is these signs, I suppose it’s anyone’s guess.

I first saw these signs go up three years ago (and every Spring since) and thought they were pretty funny. It’s because of the load restrictions on Bismarck roads, which I heard about on the radio, but the signs are vague enough to omit that detail. It’s only after someone figured out what was missing (maybe they read this blog) and wedged a little “Load” in there that the signs made sense:

This is how the corrected signs look. I was actually surprised to find an unmodified one posted up along Divide Avenue this afternoon. As you can see in this post from last March, I was almost second-guessing whether I’d even seen the signs without the word “Load” inserted. Today’s sighting of one of the original signs is a bit of a vindication, I suppose. Now someone’s going to have to dash up to Divide Avenue with another “Load” sticker!

Traumatic April Fool’s Day experience

I have the sweetest, most wonderful, beautiful wife…BUT yesterday she pranked me hard. I came home from lunch to find her sitting on the couch, crying. Confused, I attempted to figure out what was wrong so I could “fix” it. I am a guy, after all. She simply sobbed, “I left something on the kitchen table for you.”

Even more confused, I made my way to the kitchen to find the above: a CUTE little photography-related onesie with a little pink stick laying on it. Huh? I looked at it, saw two lines, read the writing on it, and internally FREAKED. Putting on my best calm, reassuring husband facade, I came back to the living room to assure her that everything will be okay. We’re all going through a lot of lifestyle changes right now, including her becoming a stay-at-home mom, so really this isn’t as scary as it could be. Of course, inside my head are all the flashes of guy-type panic, but I’m not going to let her know that.

That’s when, through her genuine tears, she sobbed, “April Fool’s, honey!” And started laughing. I was so shocked, I didn’t know how to react! Internally, of course, I felt enormous relief…but I was still off-balance emotionally from trying to process the idea of a Baby Number Three.

Of course, I can appreciate a good prank as much as the next guy. I wasn’t angry (again, probably due to relief) and simply gave her a hug and assured her that even if it HAD been true, I’d still have been okay and that I love her very much.

I later found that she borrowed the stick from a friend who’s expecting. You’ve got to love a girl who will go the extra mile for a little fun. Thank God that this day only comes once a year!

Eyecatching is exactly the right word for it

Hat tip to my buddy Kyle for this one, a rather inventive billboard going up on State Street next to the Dairy Queen. These workers were having quite a time getting the net full of eyeballs just right. Yes, that’s right…a net full of giant inflatable eyeballs.

My little boys, who were with me in the truck, thought it was pretty cool to see eyeballs bigger than they are. Even a four year old gets the gimmick behind this ad, with the net “catching” the eyes. Eyecatching, indeed!

One way to protect your abandoned missile launch facility

When the 321st Missile Wing was deactivated, its silos were imploded, communications lines cut, and underground launch control facilities filled. The above ground portion of its facilities were turned over to private landowners. I’ve visited many of these, and sadly many are in a state of decay. Then there’s this one.

I got quite a laugh after pulling up to the gate. You may remember that I have a strict NO TRESPASSING rule in my photography, so the gate is as far as we went. There was something odd about this building, and my eyes quickly honed in on a shape in one of the windows, behind the former security desk:

Thankfully one of the lenses I carry is a long telephoto, which allowed me to see what the spooky shape was: a manikin! Boo! The sight of that head just barely peeking over the counter is probably spooky enough to dissuade any potential trespassers…especially since it reminds me of that bald chick from the first Star Trek movie.

By the way, if you’re interested in more of the sights I saw on this trip, check out some older posts:

“Cold War Mancation”, Part One

“Cold War Mancation”, Part Two

“Cold War Mancation”, Part Three

“Cold War Mancation”, Part Four

“Cold War Mancation”, Part Five: