Home Depot closure leaves dozens homeless

Upon hearing the announcement of Home Depot’s impending closure, my thoughts immediately jumped to two things: first, where do I get my Cable Cuffs? That one was easy: here! Second, what happens to the birds?

These little birdies make their nests in the bottom of the pallets on which much of the merchandise is shipped and stored. At one point I saw three little fledgelings poking their heads out of one of the pallets… what’s going to happen to such feathered fellows once Home Depot goes away?

They’re also going to lose a good source of valuable nutrition, as nobody will be leaving bags of seed around or spilling it on the concrete floor. Sadly, these little birdies will have to go back into the harshness of the wild world.

Many employees are going to be impacted by the closure of our beloved Home Depot. We loyal customers (I hate Lowe’s) are going to feel the effects as well. But who thinks of the birds? I do.

By the way, Home Depot claims it is closing fifteen or so of its stores because they’re underperforming. Could I possibly have been a little clairvoyant when I banged out this joking blog post a couple years back?

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